September 29th, 2008

September 29th, 2008

After eating a late dinner and coming home, I've been thinking on a few things that happened today. The first was something that was said in the Spiritual Theology class this evening. Liam, as he was teaching (I don't remember the context this was in) said that praying is like hanging out with God (as opposed to asking him to do things). I'd heard this before, and I understand what it means, but I've never really been able to get to that point. I always come to him with a list of things to do. I'm not sure I know now to pray any other way (or at least I don't quite know what any other kind of prayer looks like). I've always only been taught to make supplications and petitions to God, not so much commune with him, like I would a close friend.

That brings me to the second thing. As I was eating, I was watching several people(men) entreat with women, and I thought about what it might be like to be married (or to even be a serious relationship). I thought about how it would probably be easy to remain faithful because I would know the joy of being with my significant other, and I could resist the temptations to be unfaithful by holding the joy and warmth of being with her in my mind to overpower whatever urges I might have. I then thought, shouldn't it be the same way with God (thinking back to the first thing I mentioned)? Shouldn't the joy of a relationship with God be part of our strength to remain faithful to Him? Yes, I believe it should. But I don't have a relationship with God (not one like I would have a wife. Not one of any kind of intimacy). Therefore, it's very easy for me to give in to temptation to be unfaithful, because I don't have the warmth and joy to hold up against the pleasures of the world. What's worse, I don't think I know how to enter into an intimate relationship with God. My relationship with him consists of me asking him for things. To me, he seems so distant, so impersonal. I am at a loss as to where to go from here.