September 8th, 2008

September 8th, 2008

I was doing some thinking today, about the state of my spiritual life. I've been feeling drained lately. Drained, discouraged, and as though I'm entering a season of dryness or a spiritual winter of sorts. I was thinking about what all I was doing, and what, if anything, could be affecting my spiritual state. And of everything that's going on in my life, I kept coming back to one thing: My involvement at theWELL.

It seems that ever since I began as the Community Team leader, it's been an uphill battle. I feel like I'm fighting a general apathy (on everyone's part, including mine), a lack of time, a lack of funding, and a lack of people. Hoping that it would get better when students came back in August, I pressed on and continued to try and build interest in what people where there for summer.

The students are back now. It's september. They've been back for three or four weeks now. I wish I could say that interest in the Community Team, and helping in general has sky rocketed, but it hasn't.

In they're defense (they being those who have not jumped at the opportunity to serve) I have done a fairly crummy job at promoting the Community Team. I've also done a fairly crummy job at arranging opportunities for people to help in the community.

I have lined up a few events in late September and early October. I'll wait and see if there is any interest in those events. But if there is the same response as there has been so far, I think this is not the right place for me to be. I love theWELL, but I don't think I can continue to head up the Community Team if this level of apathy continues. Struggling to get people excited, and fighting the general lack of concern in the leadership, I feel, is killing my spirit. When I first came to theWELL, the first message I heard got my heart burning for God. That passion is still there, but I feel as though it's being smothered. I need to pray about this before I make any decisions.