September 13, 2008

September 13, 2008

It's been several days since I've written here. I've been discouraged, encouraged, wore down, and pumped up. I feel as though my life is a whirlwind of sorts. A veritable maelstrom of emotional highs and lows, of spiritual victories, but more defeats. I'm tired. My mind is wearied from trying to keep up with everything at theWELL, Emma House, and everything at work, as well as constantly fighting a seemingly loosing battle against the lusts of my flesh. I'm tired. I haven't been making time to get into the Word, and I can feel it. I can look back on my life when I was walking in line with God's will, and living a pure life (at least more pure than it is now), and I had an energy and vibrancy that I can't feel inside me now. I'm tired.

I suppose I'm in good company though, King David was in this place. He records multiple instances in the psalms of a wearied spirit and a broken will and body. In times of strain, he cried out to God. He begged forgiveness for his sins against God, and he came humbly to the LORD with a contrite heart. David was here, where I think I'm at now.

God, I want to follow your ways, I want to live a pure and holy life, I want to walk with you in your glory... but I'm tired.... help.